My dad is waiting for me in Hell.

Just kidding — my dad was a good man to me all in all.  Yeah, I can certainly find fault as he wasn’t perfect or even close to it, but all in all, he was a really good guy & I miss him — he died quite some time ago after a long & fruitful life.

But you don’t see a lot of posts where somebody hates their parent(s), didn’t know them, etc. — it’s only those who had a good relationship who post it.  I believe it’s because most of the people who got screwed over by their parents don’t care to blog about it, or simply don’t blog as they have more important things to do, like trying to survive, don’t have internet access (mainly concerned with having a roof over their head today or tomorrow), or doing hard time, or they’re dead, don’t have a way with words, don’t want to share their misfortune with the world, or they’re on a lot of meds — it’s usually not pretty when kids aren’t raised properly or have parental issues they’re carrying with them every day of their lives well into their adulthood.

My parental issues are small comparatively.  I think about all the people who didn’t know their parents, or got screwed over by them, they didn’t pay child support, gave them up to relatives or the state, abused them, didn’t give them what they needed in some way, etc.  These are the people who are ashamed to let people know the truth, and there are a lot of them — and I believe they are a large percentage of people today & they need to know that they’re not alone & that they should somehow learn to rise above it & not blame themselves so they don’t continue the cycle of abuse by passing it forward.  They are indeed poor souls, and if/when they overcome this & do something positive in life, they are strong people indeed for doing so, and that’s the motivation they need to overcome it.

My dad didn’t take me hunting or fishing or to ballgames or play any sports with me because he was old enough to be a young grandpa & busy earning a living as a self-employed businessman in hard economic times during my youth, but he always provided the necessities for me financially, didn’t smoke or drink, preached righteousness to me even though he wasn’t religious at all, was there when I needed him, supported me when I was down & helped me get going again because he believed in me, and he let me live my life the way I wanted to, no matter how much he disagreed with it (and he was right, btw) — that’s the real job description of a parent if you ask me.

If the truth be known, those kids who got a new car at 16, had access to a nice country club, had all the right friends and inherited their parents good looks & had wealthy parents & were admitted to fraternities & sororities because they were legacies & are socially & politically connected — I’ll bet you those people have parental issues they don’t want you to know about deep in their psyche.  At the very least, even if they were happy kids & are happy adults now, they are poor souls in that they can’t appreciate what it feels like to have to find happiness & success on your own because someone didn’t give it you or buy it for you, you little bastards & bitches!  Sorry — I digress.

Just because you didn’t have a good parent doesn’t mean you can’t be a good person or parent yourself.  That’s assuming you can work your way around all those “issues” & that you decide to have kids & hopefully learn from the mistakes your parents made.

We should be thankful for what we get & be happy we’re still alive & have a shot at being happy, even if we aren’t completely happy at the moment, and stop blaming others for our remorse & shortcomings.

Life is too short — get a grip on it & make it what you want it to be.