After reading for 2 decades now that I should have seen “The Big Lebowski” & that it was a cult classic & that people were having annual Lebowski conventions in bowling alleys, I figured maybe I should give a try.  I’m a big fan of “cult” movies — “Monty Python & The Holy Grail”, “Sling Blade”, “Spinal Tap”, “Best In Show” & “Idiocracy” are just a few that come to mind.

I’m somewhat of a fan of the Coen Brothers.  I loved “Raising Arizona”, wasn’t a big fan of “Fargo”, but it wasn’t all bad.  Haven’t seen any of their other movies, but I’m simply not interested in the story behind them; it has nothing to do with the quality of the other movies or lack thereof.

Note that I don’t automatically like just any movie that’s a “cult classic” — “Rocky Horror Picture Show” was one I was not interested in seeing simply from the trailer.  I remember the trailer for “The Big Lebowski” & it did nothing for me in 1998, and I’ve learned that when a trailer doesn’t make it for me, the movie will suck for me as well.  Trailers help me save a good 2 hours of my life from being wasted.

I tried over the last few years to watch “Lebowski” and both times, I got so bored with it that I stopped it and I didn’t get very far into it each time & deleted it from my DVR.  This time, I told myself I would watch it in spurts so I could come back & resume it at the point where I got bored with it, as it’s possible I wasn’t being open-minded & it may have a slow start.

Well,  after 5 sessions, I finally got through it, and I wish I had my 2 hours back.

Like many things in pop culture & in the mainstream in general, I’m thoroughly convinced that most people, being social animals & thriving upon acceptance by others, willingly pretend to like things that are popular, and some actually convince themselves that something is good or important because a crowd of other people say it is, though in reality, it isn’t.  “The Emperor’s New Clothes” comes to mind whenever I see this and it’s why we have fads & pop culture in general.  “Pop” is short for “popular”, of course, and many things become popular quickly due to peer pressure & sheer lunacy, then take a nosedive quickly, as they never should have been popular in the first place.

First, if you haven’t watched this movie, a major spoiler alert is coming, but don’t quit reading as I’m going to save 2 hours of your life from being wasted . . .

First off, the “hero” of the movie is a stupid, lazy, sloppy, happily-unemployed schmuck named Jeff Lebowski, aka “The Dude”.  He has the same name as a seemingly wealthy & important (and big fat) man named Jeffrey Lebowski whom he meets after being mistaken for him & victimized by mobbish collectors who pee on his favorite rug.  This rich dude is “The Big Lebowski” in case you’re wondering.

I quit rooting for losers like “The Dude” to win ever since I had to wake up & go to work when I finished my schooling.  That screwed the whole movie for me from the get-go, but I thought maybe there’s something here deep within this guy & he’ll prove to be a closeted member of MENSA with natural genius.  Or maybe it’ll just be funny; after all, I love “Beavis & Butthead”.  Wrong on both counts.  This is a movie for those 22 & under at best, and preferably male.  It’s not very cerebral nor funny.

Secondly, his buddies are morons, and one of them is a part-time psychopath (John Goodman’s character).  I don’t mind sociopaths/psychopaths in the movies, but he wasn’t doing very funny things with it.  He was somewhat funny for just being a part-time psychopath & the absurdity of what made him psychopathic, but it wasn’t that good.  It was absurdly funny that he pulled a gun on a guy over a bowling score, but when he started trashing the Vette later on, I knew right away it was somebody else’s car; way too obvious.  And if he really was a psychopath, he wouldn’t have let the Jesus character talk down to him, which is why his character made no sense — either you’re psycho or you aren’t, which is why he’s a part-timer.

The movie did a number of things that made it absurd on purpose, and I’ve found that when you go way out of your way to be absurdly funny, it’s just plain absurd & unfunny.  You’re trying too hard.  The dream sequences were pathetically non-funny.  Also, more than once, “The Dude” mentioned in different scenes that the pissed-on rug tied the room together.  Talk about pounding a joke into your brain, and if it needs pounding, it isn’t that funny.

There were a number of things that weren’t explained, like why was the porno king (Ben Gazzera’s character) pissed & owed money by Bunny, and why was the homework found in The Dude’s car, but it didn’t matter as the whole plot & reason for these things was ultimately pointless anyway — there never was any ransom money (at least any that left Big Lebowski’s pocket – they never showed any money in the suitcase; even The Dude figured this out) & there never was any kidnapping.  They also didn’t explain if the nihilists were working together with Bunny.  Bunny owed money, was willing to do anything for it, was friends with the main nihilist, so why couldn’t she have been in on the fraud? They also never got Big Lebowski to admit he had the money, but you figure that one out based on his responses to The Dude when confronted.  They also left open the fact that Big Lebowski embezzled the money from a charity created by his dead wife that was run by his daughter & she didn’t like him, so why didn’t she turn him in to the cops for embezzlement?

When it’s all said and done, Big Lebowski simply stole $1 million from his dead wife’s charity, there was never a kidnapping, Bunny wasn’t in on anything, we don’t know why she owed money, we realize that Julianne Moore likes to get naked in movies, they also simply created a part to get Steve Buscemi in the movie as he wasn’t crucial to the storyline and used none of his talent in it, The Dude gets no money nor a new rug, his place is destroyed, he’s still a loser, and that’s it.  I can’t imagine anyone leaving the theater thinking their money & 2 hours of their life were not wasted for this.