Notice how people grab onto fads in order to feel like they’re part of the crowd? Like they’re as smart as the rest of those others who started & participate in the fad, and smarter than you. They also want to feel like they’re part of the group, and they want everybody else to know they are. Fads happen because of narcissism & groupthink.

One big fad going around is how when a family member dies, 3 things will be said:

1. “He died surrounded by loved ones”, or “friends and family”.
2. “The cause of death was not disclosed”
3. “The family requests privacy at this time”

What does all of this really mean? It’s basically parroting of what they’ve heard others say, like they have an obligation to say them also, but there’s more to it than just that.

What they’re really saying is . . .

1) This person was special because he had family & friends who were there when he died, so people who don’t die with family & friends present is a total loser. So if you die of a heart attack or stroke by yourself, or a car accident, you’re a loser. Also, if you chose not to have kids, or they died before you, or you’re not married, and you die alone in a hospital or under hospice care, again, you’re a loser. At least that’s what they’re conveying by codespeak. There are people who were very successful in life who chose not to have kids or chose not to marry or get remarried, and they don’t have anyone present when they died except caregivers. Doesn’t make them losers. Having friends and family doesn’t make you a winner in life.

2) Typically, when the cause of death is not disclosed, it’s usually something embarassing. Suicide, drugs, alcohol, misadventure (like auto-erotic asphyxiation), or AIDS – that’s the top 5. For instance, Jimmy Buffett just died a day before I wrote this, and it turns out that the guy who was known for being the #1 beach dude of all time died from a rare form of skin cancer called Merkel Cell Carcinoma that invaded his lymphatic system. You typically get skin cancer from sun exposure, like . . . at the beach. I don’t think the overwhelmingly ignorant majority of Americans or his mostly-ignorant hedonistic fans would’ve put 2 & 2 together on that as they probably wouldn’t have figured out that MCC is skin cancer, but the family apparently thought they would & that it would be an embarrassment & kept it a secret, but as much fun as the beach is, hanging around outside in the tropical weather of Florida especially without sunscreen is a very bad idea, as is drinking alcohol while doing so, but hey, you only live once — until you die.

3) The family requesting privacy actually means the opposite — they want you to keep talking about the person who died as they’re connected to them & that makes them feel important, and saying they want privacy is their way of saying they’re part of this particular inner circle, and you aren’t, so you’re not as important as them.

People are so full of crap.